The Chap Olympiad.

The internet is now awash with pictures of the Chap Olympiad and certainly the attendees were awash, bejesus it rained.  I expect the majority of people reading this know of this event but if not, my beloved came up with the idea in the pub, when drinking, which contrary to his assertions is not generally his finest hour. Seven years on it is still going. I’ve had a real moan about the mass media hype/hijack of the word ‘vintage’, but if there ever was a scene appended to this curious word, and it was a good thing…its chief jamboree would resemble something like the Chap Olympiad, held last Sunday in Bedford Square.

Redlegs and Naomi of Vintage Secret

This year could become known as the year of the Great Chap Flood, I went fully equipped, in a small straw hat, a pastel blue dress and cream shoes. With the exception of snow I tend to ignore London weather being a strong believer in the efficacy of ‘gin-proofing’ to make oneself impervious to all the elements. My imperviousness extended to refusals to be spanked by Atters (really!) or to compete much. My stab at shouting at the foreigner rapidly descended into hug the foreigner on the basis that said foreigner was too appealing to be shouted at. I’m useless, or a tart, I embraced Bell the Butler too. 

There are several things to treasure about the Olympiad, it is full of genuinely friendly people. It is not elitist but the usual rent a mob with false taches and polyester flapper frocks are largely absent. It is not a place for donning costume but for pulling your absolutely favourite rags out of the closet and wearing them, no matter what they be. People compete in events for..gasp..fun.  Attendees come from all over the place, one Californian chap proposed to his girlfriend in the middle of the swooning tournament. Deckchairs were trashed, butlers baited, ironing boards surfed on and men forced into sundresses to compete. An array of stylish and downright funky dancemoves were displayed and massive amounts of booze and cucumber sandwiches were despatched with barely a cross word during the whole event.

The only very minor irritations were the media, who did at least produce nice film shows after the event, the inclement weather and the drink confiscating chaps who were a tad zealous. The wonderful Chap Magazine produce a wonderful day out…roll on 2012 and the only Olympiad worth two figs (and bit of grated nutmeg).

Meanwhile I’ll leave you with some photographs of the event , gleaned (stolen) from Tony Lee, Fleure De Guerre, Laura D'Alessio, Karen Hendry, Mathew Howard and Manthe Penton Harrap (who will let me know if they are peeved I’m sure) because I left my camera in a case and got rapidly too caught up to use it! They express the feel of the day more than my verbal dribblings can.

Were you there? Has your tweed finally dried out? Billet doux and memorandums always welcomed. xxx

Chaps waiting to make chapettes swoon...

My abortive attempt as a competitor.

Evil competitor makes use of midget...

Dancing in the rain...

Chap Olympiad tiffin.

Not playing tennis...

Doing things with hats...the chappist perversion.

Matt of Lewes.

Torquil Arbuthnot fighting off Manthe's ferocious fox..

Where is his hand?

Secretary guarding bulldogs...

T'was wet.

So put on your bathing costume!

Rainbow hued vintage mafia.

Vintage at Goodwood hit South Bank this Summer.

It is interesting to hear that the controversial Vintage at Goodwood is relocating to London’s South Bank this year (see: http://www.vintagebyhemingway.co.uk/). This move has not gone down well with many posting on social media. There has been a lot of bleating about losing the ‘festival vibe’, beautiful fields, the camping experience or even in a couple of cases the sitting around and singing to guitars (blleuuugh!).  Some have declared it non-festival like and that they won’t be going.  Huzzah!!

This naturally fills me with a modicum of hope.  I personally am put off by the entitled, middle class immature hordes that turn up for these corporate commercial wank fests. I am generalizing I know. I am aware that some festivals are jolly and some festival goers lovely. A lot however are people I would cross continents to avoid (and they’d probably prefer to avoid me). So naturally I avoid festivals.

 The wellied string haired wannabe decadents that flood to summer festivals and  the idea of a vintage inspired  fun fest do not compute, you need not to be ‘up yourself’, be friendly and have decent manners, not something you get a lot of in a lot of modern festivals.  This made me philosophical about missing the inaugural Vintage at Goodwood thing.  As I was not there I have no criticisms to make.  Some of the things I heard from people I respect gave me the willies. Big brand corporate presence, disrespectful treatment of property, not looking after or rewarding volunteers and the presence of lots of arses taking the piss in stupid costumes being examples.

On the other hand I liked the idea of hearing some of the bands playing, I know some good retro types who had a lot of  fun and personally always enjoy the chance to chap around. For every photo I saw of someone behaving twattishly I saw photos of people having a good time. I also think it has to be remembered that it was the first outing and was always going to have teething problems and that the festival was actually held and put on. Not just talked about.  A lot of us have to be wary of getting our backs up or being a bit possessive about our scenes or interests. Yes it is annoying when some young pr or organizer obviously knows bugger all about the forties or fifties but you don’t sulk, you help out, of course with the codicil that organizers are prepared to be helped. There was a lot of unnecessary griping and sniping from both sides. Some people were always going to whinge, some were unfairly criticised for fair comment but also I think the organisers got a lot of grief for things they may not have anticipated.

The South Bank is actually a really good idea with it’s skylon/festival of Britain associations.  Although many will whinge about Londoncentricism this is going to be easier for many to attend than a festival in the Home Counties or some smaller city with worse transport.  There is lots of accommodation (including camp sites if you really have to), the best transport links and lots of other things to do including all the great museums and galleries. Think of the beautiful river views from the South Bank too. 

Also present in the metropolis is a diverse, established and active vintage community.  If the organizers tap into this and produce a festival which is not just about making money it could be fun.  The organizers will probably have registered what worked, what didn’t and how to deal with things after reviewing last year.  I would presume an enthusiasm for retro things is what motivates at least some of them, rather than the idea of a themed idea of retro to sell to the Topshop demographic and make cash ethos.  Obviously it should make some cash though, you can’t expect something for nothing, a happy medium is a tricky thing. I'm sure that now they have an idea of how to harness vintage help (really a case of mutual back scratching in the service of promoting enthusiasms on the one side and commercial/critical success on the other).

It is all to easy to anticipate the problems, how will they close the area off? handle queues? keep the hard core and the newbies happy? Personally I think they need a magic ray machine gun type thing to delete hipsters, gormless rahs and nylon fancy-dress outfits (I can hear arsey people yelling ‘snob’!) as I write that.  But that isn’t me. I think that  Goodwood as a venue was ageist, classist and elitist. Only a certain kind of person can and wants to camp, otherwise you had to be rich or local to make it. A London based festival would attract a wider demographic and less of the aforementioned rahs, hipsters and monied teenagers.  More  fanatics and more of the genuinely interested up for a laugh type of punter may turn up. And going back to the crap fancy dress, I’d rather see people in their preferred natural clothes rather than taking the piss.

For fucks sake....

I wish the organizers well, I hope they realize that there are a huge number of fanatics and enthusiasts in a very well established vintage community across the decades who are not cliquey or snobby and want to help and share their enthusiasm with people.  But they do not want to see the things they love demeaned and crassly commercialized by people who know and love their enthusiasms less.  This could be a really fun weekend, or awful.  I’m inclined to think it could easily be the former, as long as this is an inclusive event. So I look forward to seeing the line-up.  Ultimately it is better to be positive and no matter what your impression of the last event was (as I said I didn’t go and am neutral but optimistic) at least these people are getting off their bums and organizing something. So Vintage Festival organizers, over to you and all the best!

NB:  I still think people who wear nylon afros, fake moustaches and dumb 20’s headbands should be put in the stocks though….. we could pelt them with jellies for charity?