2)Above-the-knee, chiffon pleated skirts and fully-fashioned nylons are the big fad of a quite windy 2011.
3)People of limited wit cease using the word 'literally' to mean the exact opposite.
4)They invent a lager that makes you thin.
5)The AGM of the Countryside Alliance gets attacked by wild bears and sexually excited stallions causing multiple injuries and many embarrassing deaths.
6)People remember how to riot properly.
7)Ben Goldacre is appointed Health Secretary while Gillian McKeith is jailed for quackery.
8)The kids drop their idiotic, made-up, 'street' accents in favour of RP.
9)The march of technology into the chasm of crapness is halted and film cameras, analogue sound and CRT televisions become commonplace again.
10)Ostriches become the new vehicle of choice for the smart set.