Off to the Palace....

There are bits of the metropolis that many Londoners cherish, the view from either side of Waterloo Bridge, Wren’s wonderful cathedral or Big Ben on a cloudy day. I am particularly fond of Soho, Fitzrovia and Shepherd Market. But these are all, in a sense, communal areas. Along with the Royal Parks and the river they constitute a kind of geographic front room for Londoners. But what of the secret corners we cherish or the areas outside the centre we enjoy, the private rooms of our ‘London House’?

In my case one of these is Crystal Palace, or rather Upper Norwood as it was prior to the migration of Caxton’s glass masterpiece to it’s heights. Much of the visual appeal of the area architecturally dates from this era and the Victorian love of folly, grandeur and solidity. Where else in London do you find dinosaurs, sphinxes, a gorilla and a big television antenna oddly redolent of the Eiffel Tower? In the vicinity are a Palace, a fine Georgian art gallery, two quirky museums, and more open space than most other parts of London (including a remarkable cemetery). In addition there are views from Central Hill that can only be bettered by Parliament Hill but for my money the southern view is more interesting. Travel back before the Victorians and you have a fancy Georgian Spa, Charcoal burners, gipsy encampments and royal jousting. It also has a bit of a French vibe, due to a long history of eminent French residents (including Pissarro who painted quite a lot of pictures of the area and Victor Hugo).

But what of now? It is a bit of an unknown gem, somewhat scruffy around some of it’s edges, resistantly bohemian, full of craftsmen and small businesses. Any excuse for a festival, lots of comedy clubs and ad hoc cinemas in pubs and some impressive events, such as the recent classic car fest using part of the old motor racing track. Atmospherically it is very villagey in the way that places like Clapham Old Town were, aeons ago. It is quite laid back yet still very urban with a good mix of people. The yummy mummy crowd for now kept at bay (although the Domali café on weekend daytimes is best avoided by the child averse). It is also a very vintagey area, with Vintage Heart , Vien Vintage, Bambino’s vintage leathers and a new shop with mens fifties clothing that I have not seen yet. This is in addition to Haynes Lane.

You have to poke around a bit to find all this wonderful stuff but combine a day in the park with a bit of nostalgic shopping and then a drink and a meal in one of the areas many pubs and restaurants. Then get on the new train line back down to Dalston, we are happy for you to visit and enjoy the vibe but the place is ours, all ours (cue demonic cackle). In any case you don’t know us Sarf Londoners any thing could happen if you linger too long…..

Here are my 'top tips' within the area:

The Crow on the Hill. A real bookshop. The antithesis of corporate sterile bookselling, whats left of it. A faintly chaotic feel which entices you to rifle through shelves of well chosen books with a local slant. Clearly chosen by people who read and know their customer base. Stocked one of the Chap books, a clear sign of discernment!

Haynes Lane Market. A real ramshackle flea market full of small emporia jammed into two floors of a ramshackle building. A real rummage can produce pearls: good cufflinks, bric a brac and jewellery. All at proper prices. Still kicking myself for not buying that Victorian leather top hat case for a fiver… Also notable are the shop Bambino which is full of good stuff, particularly old leather biker jackets and the antique furniture market jammed with characterful bits of wood for your house.

Numide. Damn fine merguez. Run by a Brel/Soccer obsessed chef who produces and serves in this small romantically gloomy restaurant some very good French food with a North African edge. The down stairs bar is atmospheric, sells good plonk, has an amiable barman and a tiny little outdoor space. Must book in advance for restaurant.

Crystal Palace actually has a huge number of cafés and restaurants in relation to it’s size, Tamnag Thai sells the best Thai food I have had in this country. One reason why it has ballooned into a huge restaurant over the years, despite which you will still have to book at the weekends. Yours truly used to be a bartender at Joanna’s. a slick professionally run restaurant. The Gurkha Cottage sells high quality Nepalese food with some unusual dishes. Café wise I rate the Little Palace Café, very much a caff, with good portions and decent food. For Francophiles, Café St Germain on the parade is pretty much the real thing, transported to Central Hill. Sit outside with a croque madame and a chilled beer.

Pub wise I tend to prefer the shabby White Hart, shabby in a trendy way. The place is jammed with bars and pubs of all kinds from trendy to reassuringly old school. Although beware of some on match nights, Selhurst Park is not far away. Bar wise it has to be the Numide bar. Or walk down central hill for 15 mins to the Park Tavern…a couple of the pubs have a view from gardens in the back. The place has a much nicer feel at night than most outlying reaches of London, perhaps because the punters are a mixture of affluent, gor blimey and whappen?

Crystal Palace park, apart from the dinosaurs. the children’s zoo, the terraces of the original Crystal Palace, the museum, the Olympic stadium, probably Englands first racing circuit, the lake and the Victorian bandstand there is lots of grass.

You can stuff your East London.. we’ve got saurs!


hayneslanemarket.com/
www.numidie.co.uk/
www.booksellercrow.co.uk
www.thewhitehartse19.co.uk
www.cafestgermain.com/

So exactly what is vintage?

Shop front of Rokit, neither of those frocks are vintage..

Recently in Time Out there have been several articles about ‘shopping for vintage’, I notice that the shops mentioned are invariably in East London and run by the very young. In addition to these there are the established big name ‘vintage’ or ‘retro’ stores such as Rellik or Rokit. I have been to these and a selection of other similar boutiques only to emerge in high dudgeon. The bearded one must by now be sick of me muttering ‘vintage, my arse’ in exasperation.

This is because generally speaking these shops are full of tacky late 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and even 90’s clothing. with just the occasional (over-priced) real piece. Is this vintage? My personal cut off date is the 1950’s, any later and if of good quality or designer origins it is 'collectable'. If poor quality: jumble. There is no suggestion here that clothes from the 70’s or 80’s shouldn’t be sold and worn proudly. From the point of individuality alone there is a greater chance that you won’t be wearing the same Primark blouse as everyone else. Ecologically it makes sense to recycle and re-use. What is out of order is steaming a C&A dress, labelling it as ‘vintage’ and then being able to sell it on for £30.00 and upwards. Well if someone is idiotic enough to buy it, business wise it is fine and dandy. But ‘vintage’? purrleaase! I’m becoming very annoyed by hearing “oh, there is a new vintage clothes shop at so and so corner” only to find it is full manky jumble and staffed by vacant eyed sticks with slack jaws. Vintage inspired, retro or second-hand fine but not vintage. You don’t call a 1980’s Ford Escort a vintage car, you don’t call a poster of Bros a vintage print so why do womens clothes get given the appendage so easily? Perhaps it is because we are mugs, more likely to fall for emperors new clothes inspired sales schtick in the same way we will buy ‘diet water’ or expensive wrinkle creams made of bug placentas.

To be honest most real vintage is hard to wear, it is expensive, too expensive and I lay responsibility for this at the steps of the gullible too. I wear mostly at reproduction clothing and am far from slavish to any era. Those who follow retro-dressing to extremes but combine this enthusiasm with looking down on your High Street facsimiles (and we have all met them) I find amusing. But vintage is vintage, it is old, it is from the era it represented. Surely the history you can hold in your hands and wear upon your body is the point of vintage or antique clothing. That flapper frock with the mysterious green stains, the Bakelite buttons on your 1930’s jacket, the tea dress that survived the blitz and the outrageousness of that massive bundle of fabric and net otherwise know in the fifties as a circle skirt. There is a romance to these objects that is almost entirely conferred by the patina of time passing. That is what draws me to vintage originals.

By all means combine you skinny jeans with a shiny ironic late 80’s blouse from Etam, but please don’t describe it as vintage. It needs another 30 years or so to mature ….

Buying vintage in London:

I find that Lynette who has a small shop of Camden Passage in otherwise rubbish Islington is very good for vintage hats and rayon dresses. Black Out in Endell Street is great for Lucite bags. The Flyover end of Ladbroke Grove has some good stalls at the weekend selling gent’s suits. Old Hat in Fulham is one of a small selection of near neighbouring shops with high-end retro and vintage clothing. The Hammersmith and Fulham vintage fairs are good, especially for textiles and I have found the odd good thing in the Frock Me fair held in Chelsea. Crystal Palace has Londons best flea/junk market at Haynes Lane. Best Charity shop buys in Walworth Road, Muswell Hill and West Hampstead. South London car boot sales are better than those in the North for collectables. Otherwise I tend to save my shopping for trips out of London, the Isle of Man was great for 50’s handbags. Vintage to Vogue in Bath is my favourite non-London vintage shop.

Oxford street, the survivalists guide.

Oxford Street is as unavoidable for the average Londoner as springtime pigeon poo, errant tube lines and those mysterious moving road works (has anyone checked for ley-lines?). Even the well heeled may find themselves girding their loins to face the place, even if it is only to cross from Marylebone to Bond Street. If anyone doubts that a shopping 'trip' to Oxford Street is occasionally akin to an assault course please see the image below. Some might bellow that there are alternatives. However shopping malls are not central, Croydon is full of roaming feral groups of teenagers and Wood Green is the last resort of the truly desperate. The fact remains that the UK has the best fashion-forward High Street retailers and that most of these house their flagship stores with the widest range of lines on this thoroughfare. The shopping survivalist can, however. make a day spent here more pleasant. Through planning and distraction combined with an avoidance of the myriad irritations and dangers of the place a good day can be had. Redlegs lists her own do's and don'ts below in the hope they may help. These are my own tips, I would be extremely interested to hear other suggestions. After all we need all the defensive and offensive weapons we can muster to survive a DAY IN OXFORD STREET!

Things that might make your day more bearable:

1 Timing. It sounds obvious, but if you have a choice do choose a weekday and arrive early. I really don't understand the large numbers of obviously retired grey haired elderly ladies heading to Oxford street for their Saturday jolly. Inexplicable. Particularly slack times of year in terms of crowds are late February/early March and late September early October. Remember though that just before Mother's Day and other such events things get busier. Bank Holidays are also a no-no. Under no circumstances go on one of the special pedestrian friendly no-traffic days. They are not pedestrian friendly, buses and cabs do a great job of getting stupid big groups of people off the road and walking. In their absence there are five times the amount of people, often from outside London behaving like human dodgems.

2 Sustainance. Every cafe in the area seems to be full of noisy families and obtaining a place to sit requires the ruthlessness of a crack SAS unit. The Selfridges food hall is like a Japanese train station at rush hour and the fast food chains are unspeakable. There are alternatives. My tip is to spend a little more and go to John Lewis's Brasserie (tel 020 7629 7711) . Largely because you can actually reserve a table and swan in past the queue and sit right down for a nice light waitress served meal with a glass of wine. If you are in the lower end of Oxford Street and fancy solid cheap grub, head down Berwick Street and grab some delicious cod and chips in the utilitarian fish and chip shop there. I have always been able to sit down and Soho tends to discourage the yummy mummy hordes.

3 Walk behind the street itself, the pavement is full of idiots. You can avoid the elbows, hard faced Primarkadonnas with prams, battalions of chadors, large men with beer cans and gaggles of shrieking European teenagers just by following the streets running parallel to Oxford Street itself. Slightly longer in footfall but twice as quick and far less stressful.

4 Feed the brain. Both the Photographers Gallery and the Wallace Collection are just off Oxford Street. They remind you that there is more to you than mere consumer. The Laughing Cavalier in the Wallace always cheers me up although I suspect the joke is on me...

5 Treats. My habit is to reward myself for my powers of shopping endurance. A favourite is afternoon tea at the Durrant Hotel, one of London's last family owned Edwardian hotels. Quiet, rarely crowded and full of antiques; between 3-6 they will serve a full Champagne afternoon tea for a very reasonably £21.00.

6 Remember there are some joys to be found in Oxford Street even at its busiest. The Hare Krishnas whirling along raise my spirits with their combination of jolliness and longevity. They seem to have always been there. The frontage of Selfridges, the fifties modernist sculpture outside John Lewis', the roast chestnuts that are hygienically highly dubious but never seem to poison you and the proximity of wonderful establishments such as Claridges. Let's not forget that very few shopping streets of this type end in a fantastic royal park. The new Tokyo style cross walk at Oxford Circus is very effective and shows the place can be improved.

Things to beware of:

Most Londoners are aware of these but for those who don't regularly visit the street..

1 Sundays. Due to UK shopping rules the first hour/hours on Sunday you can only view goods and may not be able to buy them until 12.00.

2 Pick pockets work in teams and are very sophisticated. Black spots are outside Selfridges and Primark. Also the exits of Tottenham Court Road and Oxford Street Tube Stations. Never give to beggars, they are used as scouts to show where you keep money on your person.

3 A common theft in Oxford Street is bag lifting. Some one will stand by you at a counter, you put some bags on the floor. They do the same. Then pick up their bags along with a couple of yours. They will then return your goods for cash. This is also common at fast food and coffee chain shops. Don't put your receipts for goods in the bag especially if you have used a credit card, if you get back to the shop quickly they do sometimes catch these people in the act.

4 The Tottenham Court Road end of the street has virtually nothing worth visiting or shopping at and is tatty. Best avoided.

John Lewis Brasserie menu: http://www.johnlewis.com/Shops/DSTemplate.aspx?Id=177

Berwick Street fish and chips: http://www.yelp.co.uk/biz/fish-and-chips-london

Wallace Collection:www.wallacecollection.org

Photographers Gallery: www.photonet.org.uk

Durrant Hotel: www.durrantshotel.co.uk

Claridges Hotel: www.claridges.co.uk

Any comments or suggestions please reply!

Big night out = Life is never simple

I don't want to look like this......

I want to look like this !

An event to go to, in this case the wonderful Chap Ball. Huzzah! What could be wrong with this? The Chap magazine celebrates Anarcho-chappism in a dada-situationist way, it will not be full of Twatkids or Hooray Henrys but friends. There hasn't been one for 10 years, I love the acts so what can happen.

Almost Immediately, being female, the challenge of apparel rears it's head. How I envy the chaps who just grow some whiskers and whip out their finest tweed/black tie/all in one pvc romper suit. Suddenly I start thinking, long skirt? short skirt? hair? up? down? makeup? hell I don't want sleeveless, or if I do I will have to buy a bolero or shrug, ooops oh no more money, I don't have any money, everyone has more money than me, everyone is younger than me, and slimmer, and can wear sleeveless and WAAAAAAHHHH!

So I find myself wandering through the hell that is Oxford Street on a damp Friday suspiciously eyeing up a selection of eye wateringly tacky sequinned shifts, I love sequins but if I were one I would be offended. Wagdom via a 1980's that I really don't recall, and I was there. I give up on the shops catering for the young and cheap with the short and cheap and head for the more ..ahem.. stately department stores. More luck here, try on a few dresses and they are all terrible, or rather a foot too long, with no waist. I finally find one, emerald green, quite a late 40s/50's look and with a little bit of sparkly stuff to stop me looking too matronly. Also its an unusual colour, not at all in fashion, quite unusual really. Turns out that two other friends are planning to wear green, it wouldn't matter if it were not for the fact that both are a) extremely pretty b) very svelte and c) much much younger than me. Otherwise the team green photographs would be fun, but little old round me next to two Chap magazine pin-ups? hmmmm. I think again, and order a dark blue dress on-line and am hoping vaguely that it might actually fit me. If not I will wear the green and embrace my elder stateswoman status by getting drunk, wandering around burping and telling everyone that the noughties are 'pants' and generally being an old bag.

Dress worries aside, my skin has decided to go wrong, it always does when I have something nice to go to, whenever I want to look ill, ie after I have been ill and return to work it looks perfectly fine. But what am I worrying about? two glasses of cava in and my face will be bright pink....
which brings me on to the subject of whether having my hair dyed a marmalade colour on Friday is a good idea? Still I think of Vivienne Westwood.. she gets away with it. I'm not even going to go down the shoe road, it leads to a circle of hell, you know the one with lots of women impaled on the massive heels of Jimmy Choos they cannot afford. Weariness envelopes me if I cogitate on the subject of jewellery and accessories and as for make-up, pah! Well it will all go wrong on the night, my skin will fall off and I'll end up looking quite a lot like Vivienne Westwood...

Only one thing for it: to remember the bearded one seems to like me whatever I wear, to recall that red hair is the rarest type in nature or un-nature and that the thing is to have a bit of a spree. So I plan to have fun, drink bubbles and have a laff. Even if I do look like a little round Christmas tree - do say hello if you see me there!

vintage style dresses on the high street

When I returned from Asia I found, regrettably, that 'vintage' or rather my much loved jumble bargains had become trendy. The jumble sale itself seemed to have disappeared in favour of Ebay, no more elbow duelling with determined elderly ladies or fantastic earrings for 20p. Whilst it is good to see old clothes being valued and not thrown away it has left me bereft of my usual sources. Additionally, whilst it is rightly up to people how they wear their clothes, there is a nasty fairy hiding inside me that wants to jump out and thump Kate Moss wannabes wearing uncared for vintage 50's tulle with Ugg boots. Even worse are Hoxtonites who have cut up (or in their words 'deconstructed') lovely old rayon 40's dresses. The only thing that cheers me is the fact that so many of these women are being ripped off by the likes of Rellik and charged a fortune for crappy old 60's crimpolene and vile 70's nylon.



The problem remains however that the prices for the vintage I want to wear with a hat and heels are now beyond my means. Especially as vintage clothes also come complete with challenges: difficulties of sizing, moth nibbles and that unique, not entirely pleasant smell of damp. I like reproduction clothing, but the difficulty is that when I wear a Stop Staring dress everyone recognises it, nice in a way but I cannot help feeling profoundly unoriginal. New companies and designers keep on appearing to fill this demand but their clothes are often as expensive as the vintage versions.



Sometimes the High Street throws up good alternatives. I love my Jasmine Guinness cherry- print rockabilly style dress. Recently I bought her navy blue day dress featuring fabric with a little peach coloured pattern which has an 'atomic' feel to it. The combination of navy and dusty pink is also very retro. The tie belt is far too long but anyone with basic sewing skills (ie not me!) could shorten it and attach a vintage buckle quite easily. Her sleeves to be snug but other than that I love the cut and the crepe like fabric. It has been mistaken for a genuine vintage item even though in truth it is a hybrid of 40's cut with 50's pattern and 30's detailing.



The other shop that seems currently to have some dresses with a distinct vintage feel is Laura Ashley. I also recently bought a good emerald green embellished dress from Phase Eight that had a late 40's feel about it with a fitted draped waist and sweetheart neckline. Coast also have an elegant long navy crepe de chine like dark blue evening gown that is pure 30's in stock. Although the price is steep it might crop up in the new year sales and it is nice to see something in such a classic colour. Coast dresses are manufactured for giants so a seamstress would probably be needed by most to shorten the hem.

Coast long floaty navy blue 30's style gown with embroidered front.



Laura Ashley 30's style grey silk gown (I want this one!)

Laura Ashley classic 50's style gown.

Laura Ashley 40's style gown

Jasmine Guinness Zita dress.

All of these dresses are currently available, I love the grey Laura Ashley one and may well buy it. Jasmine Guinness sells through Littlewoods and Very.